Audiobooks coming soon

I've got several audiobooks currently in production by very talented narrators. Over the next several months, they'll be available on Amazon, Audible and iTunes.

On a related note, I'm way behind on my writing goals for 2012. At this point, it's looking like the only other releases I'll have this year will be Snowybrook Inn: Book Three, and the next installment in my Zombie Galaxy series.

So many book plans, so little time...

Actually, I'm really not writing any slower than I always have. I'm going at about the same pace as usual. But now that the ebook revolution has made writing fun again for me, I was hoping to increase my productivity. Oh well. At least I'm not slowing down as I get older.

But the book ideas are far outstripping my writing speed. At this rate, I'm going to have to be reincarnated several times to turn my outlines into novels.

Movie Review - Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

           Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

            Who on Earth thought that such a ludicrous concept would ever fly as a serious movie? This movie might have worked as a comedy. But it takes itself absolutely seriously, so that the comedy is unintentional, and that’s the worst kind of comedy.

            There’s so much wrong with this movie that I don’t even know where to begin.

            I guess I’ll start with the subtitle, “Vampire Hunter.” The titular character doesn’t actually do any vampire hunting in the movie. Rather, a renegade vampire feeds Lincoln the address of a vampire, and Lincoln goes to the address and slays the vampire. Where’s the “hunting” in that? Lincoln is a vampire slayer, not a vampire hunter, so the movie goes wrong right at the title.

            There’s also not much of a plot. Lincoln slays vampires on the way to his presidency, and when he gets to be president, he keeps on slaying, until the head vampire’s plan to take over the United States at the Battle of Gettysburg is thwarted. The movie is more like a travelogue detailing Lincoln’s secret life on the way to the White House.

            The movie loses all credibility when Lincoln starts swinging his axe and slaying vampires like he’s the chick from Resident Evil. The sight of a dignified American icon moving like a Ninja is beyond ludicrous.

            Then there are the actors themselves. Honestly, every single actor in this movie looks like a refugee from a comedy. Their hairstyles are comical, their facial expressions are comical…To a man, every second they’re on screen, they look like they’re all about to bust loose with a joke or a punch line.

            I saw this movie in 3D, and even the 3D sucked.

            All that being said, the period set pieces were really nice. If this movie were a Western, or a genuine biography of Abraham Lincoln, it would have looked great.

            Avoid this movie at all costs, unless you’re looking for a good laugh.